You Are Goodbye.

I feel an overwhelming sadness at the loss of something that never existed.
I felt as if it were something that within grasp.
Maybe it is because the delusion
 I created in my mind,
made is seem so close when
 I was actually grasping for something more fleeting the the breath escaping my mouth on a chilly November morning.
It reaches out towards a sun dawning over the horizon, rises at most a foot, and then is gone.
But the day has started to dawn

Sinking Fish

I don't understand the power of music or the movement of the heart. How can a song be so beautiful as to make you physically ache? Or what is it about a song that makes you sit and focus on it, the makes you repeat it, that takes you into that which is eternal? It must be important. It doesn't remove you from the world around you but makes it deeper and wider.
Is that what it is to be completely and utterly present? To ache and feel and see and taste and hear everything in a single moment. But the moment  remains unable to be captured and trying to recapture it will only lead to disappointed. Moments like that are given and not something that can be gained through effort. The are a gift.

How I Look

I wonder sometimes about how much I place of my in my appearance. Considering that I don't know much about me (and probably will always be in the shadowy area of knowledge), it is weird I feel more comfortable in certain types of clothing, in certain environments, with my hair in a certain. Mirrors probably play a big role in this. So I wonder, how different would my day be if I intentionally stopped trying to notice my reflection? I think it's an experiment worth trying.

Why People Speed On The Highway

I always wonder where people are in such a hurry to drive off to on the highway. I give the benefit of the doubt for emergency but am sure that most people are just trying to get anywhere that's not where they currently are. I think people who speed must be ungrateful, or at least unhappy with how they exist. Speeding is moving away from something, always leaving something behind in rush to get to something else, anything else. Perhaps, since morning commutes are typically solo, we could take the time to think up a few things that we have (a car, a job, a home, a functional body), a reason to slow down because we probably don't slow down for any other part of life either. There is always a small amount of something to be grateful for.